[Editor's note: Flyboy is responding to a "I am a gay man in a marriage" statement made by the egroup moderator and responding to Dan who considers himself, "bi"...]

Me, I've been married 13 years. I was wonderin' too after the moderator made that statement. The question, in my own case is, would I be making love to my wife if I hadn't married to begin with? Labels have zero meaning with me. Like you, I love the body of a man, love to make love to a man, and love to fuck in general. I haven't answered the question myself of would I be making love to my wife if we had never met and my life or, society was different? Don't get me wrong. I love my life, I love marriage and family and the whole Rockwell painting ball of wax that goes with it.

I hadn't thought of what my wife may be thinking of when we make love but I sure fantasize about men. I like sex with my wife because it is an outpouring of my love for her. However, I do feel that if she didn't want sex, we probably wouldn't have it at all. Why? I guess I'm not attracted to women in general. A test for me a while back was at a friend's house and he had an x-rated tape laying around. Big breasted women and several ugly men. In each scene, I kept looking not at the woman, but hoping a better looking man would enter and the scenes of a woman by herself did nothing for me. In fact, the tape did nothing for me as there wasn't a good guy in the bunch.

No, I'm not hung up on looks (God knows I'm not a model). I'm just making a point. I can get hard in 0.0000002 seconds staring at a pic of a naked bodybuilder but a naked pic of a Playboy model just leaves me cold. Shit, does that make me gay or am I bi merely because I'm married? Don't know and guess I don't care since it's an academic question anyway. I'll never leave my wife, love her, and make love to her to give her all the happiness she needs. As for my own needs, I have wild, sweaty, leather sex with another married man who slaps my ass and then we fuck like there's no tomorrow and that fulfills me like nothing else.

If being strictly gay means detesting and never making love to a woman, then yes, that would make me 'bi' because I do make love to my wife (albeit again more for her than for me). I think the question is, however, if I had never married my wonderful wife, would I ever be making love to a woman? Hmmmm....more thoughts while cleanin' the garage today . Final thought, just because someone might call me "gay" doesn't make me "gay" anymore than someone who calls me "bi" makes me "bi". I am my own man who is, finally after letting go of my inhibitions, enjoying life to its fullest; kind of a double-agent, Clark Kent/Superman kind of thing. The loving father, loving husband AND for damn sure, a lover of hot sweaty, hairy, muscular man-man sex.

Take care guys!

A local radio talk show host always ends his program with "don't let anyone ever steal your joy". In reality, I think a lot of us are stealing our own joy of life. Love your wives and families and take care of them but also recognize that you have needs that your wife could never either fulfill nor understand. Me? I finally met someone who showed me that I can be a good parent, good husband, and being a male lover to him doesn't make me a bad person; just one broke through his own barriers and is finally havin' fun!!!!